One of the terms that fills anyone currently dating someone with dread… ‘The Ick’ is what absolutely no one wants to hear about. But, what is it?
Unfortunately, the clue is in the name. Ick (a shortening of ‘icky’) a synonym for gross, disgusting, off-putting etc. In dating, it defines when someone has essentially been turned off by some action or something that has happened between them. This is usually shown by the person who’s been turned off. It’s just when someone is feeling a bit cringed out and then distances themselves.
What causes ‘The Ick” though? Well, let’s get stuck in to find out more.
It sounds incredibly petty as clothing is one of the easier things to change about yourself (I mean, literally just wear a different shirt?) However, clothing ends up being more representative of the person than you think. If you’re a 25 year old man and wearing t-shirts with ironic slogans or phrases on the front, then I don’t blame the person who’s taking your fancy for getting The Ick.
Pro tip: avoid wearing anything that you know is embarrassing and you aren’t fully comfortable wearing on a date.
Real talk though, the Ick more commonly happens in early stage dating and relationships. The person you’re dating might feel awkward asking you about wanting you to change your style so early into things. So, to them, it’s just easier for all involved to call it off, if it’s something they really can’t get their head around.
This is one of the biggest causes of someone getting the Ick. When someone you’re dating just needs that extra bit of attention of that feels too much for you to give. This can be represented by them constantly needing validation about something. Maybe it’s them requiring faster replies to their messages, or maybe even something way less significant. Whatever it is, it’s just that little bit too much that puts you off.
The fact is we all need attention sometimes and a lot of those times it’s completely legit to seek it. However, it can be exhausting having to do that consistently for someone else.
Nose picking. Leaving the toilet seat up. Not doing the washing up. All habits that are neither ideal for a flatmate or someone you want to date. But those are just mine haha.
We all have habits that when we notice someone doing them, drive us slightly up the wall. With some people, you can look past them. Like with your family who you know you won’t change, or your friends who you may not see everyday. But if it’s someone who you’re romantically interested in and looking to spend more time with it’s veeeeery off putting.
Taking things too fast
Everyone takes their dating life at a different pace. Some are quick to hop from relationship to relationship. Others take longer to get to know and develop trust with the person. There is no wrong way.
BUT there is a wrong FOR YOU, which can be uncomfortable if the person you’re dating isn’t on the same wavelength. If you’re someone who prefers to take things slow, there are few things more awkward and oddly stressful than someone else trying to speed up the process. Being low key pressured verbally or even physically, if someone’s a keen hand holder for example, can be incredibly off putting and give you the Ick very fast.
Reminder of an Ex
Unlike the 4 reasons above that you can all change or work on there is unfortunately absolutely nothing you can do about someone getting the Ick from you reminding them of an ex. It’s not your fault, it’s the exes fault, it’s always the exes fault.
This sadly can come out of nowhere and also so little that can be done to fix it. It’s annoyingly just one of those situations that you just have to accept and move on from if and when you remind someone of an ex and it spooks them. Take solace in the fact that it means you likely we’re right for them, but too right.
And there we have your brief guide on how to avoid giving someone ‘The Ick’. As stated above some of these are definitely easier to avoid than others, but you can only do your best!