Let’s start by telling you something that at this very moment will be very hard to accept, you’re going to be ok. Breakups are the worst thing that can happen to us emotionally and many of us will go through various breakups throughout our lifetime, some worse than others. If you are here, this has probably been the worst one yet, has it not? You are here because you are seeking information on how to heal from a breakup, because they do hurt, a lot. There is no one ultimate solution on how to get over a breakup, but there are universal tips that could work for many, if given enough time to do them. However here are some ways that we think you will be able to heal and basically learn how to get over a breakup.
Tip 1: Do not hold a grudge and do not contact.
As hard as it may be to not want to hate the person that you have just separated yourself from, hating them or wishing them bad luck in their next relationship is no way for anyone to live. Having that kind of wish for anybody is toxic and it will never let you move on. Of course if this person was the most horrible person to ever exist and maybe even was violent to you, then yes it is completely okay to hate their guts for having hurt you on such an emotional and physical level.
If the person was just not the right fit for you, or for each other, then try not to be consumed with hatred towards them, it will only make you bitter. Also, do not contact them; do not search for attention sending reactions to their stories, or send memes to them. It will be best for both of you to just stop talking completely.
Tip 2: Stop dating or searching for a rebound.
It’s a classic trope of wanting to score a rebound after a breakup just to let out some bad energy and feel a sense of accomplishment. But sleeping around with other partners after a breakup will never heal your pain, in most cases it can make things worse, as you will be constantly comparing your past relationship to the new current one. If this occurs, you should not be dating new people until you are fully healed.
Tip 3: Stop consuming mind altering drugs.
Yes this can include alcohol and weed. The problem is not that some of these drugs are looked down upon by us, but the problem is that these drugs only block out your emotions from fully letting themselves out. Or in other cases they merely eclipse the underlying issue that you have in the moment, which is the separation. By clouding your judgement in neverending drugs that either depress you or stimulate you, you are never letting your body truly be you. Either because you are trying to hide the pain or not recognize that it is there. Letting go of these drugs, if only for the while that you are recovering from this breakup, will greatly help your mind and body heal from the emotional stress that this breakup has caused you. No amount of drugs can ever heal you from your breakup.
Tip 4: Learn about the different philosophies of love and separation.
If that sentence did not make any sense to you then it is worth a listen to some videos that we would highly recommend to watch on the different ways that love is seen through the lenses of different ancient philosophies; be they through the Stoic lens, Buddhist lens, and the Taoist lens. They only take 10 minutes each and you will learn a great deal about what love is and how to deal with seperation.
Watch these videos to learn more on:
Tip 5: Get moving and stay active.
Start a workout routine. Go to the gym, or start running, or join a team and start playing some sports. Anything that can get your heart pumping and your muscles tired. And if at anypoint you are feeling that you have no motivation to get out of bed or the couch and onto some sneakers, then we have a simple solution. Start taking pre-workout, preferably one that is for beginners and in the recommended doses. Trust us, nothing gets you out of bed faster than a palpitating heart, sweaty, cold, tingly palms, and a need to get moving, like a good scoop of pre-workout. Our recommendation? Vedge – Pre-Workout, vegan, powerful and has no crash afterwards. Get moving and start feeling alive!
Tip 6: Start meditating.
After a great session of putting your body through intense stress, there is nothing better than to relax it with a session of meditation. Meditation has an incredible effect on your body, which is that it lets you disconnect from the outside world and merely focus on yourself in the most natural form, which is by stillness. By being still and concentrating on your own body you can truly separate yourself from your own problems and ones around you, further helping you with this much needed internal healing.
You WILL think when you meditate, you will remember the person that you were with, and you will cry when meditating, but through this intense method of trying to be at your most still, you will come to accept yourself, your body, your positive traits and your negative traits, and you will get closer to accepting what has happened. We highly recommend that you meditate after your training sessions, so as to have the body in its most relaxed state after the workout.
Tip 7: Pick up a new hobby or a new book.
This is meant so as to keep your mind focused on new things that are not romantic. Try new things, maybe like going to read a new book at the park, or maybe take some online courses to learn a new skill you always wanted to know. Get your mind focused on new things.
Tip 8: Rinse and Repeat all these tips and let time flow.
The saying is annoying, “time will blah-blah”, yes and now more than ever you never want to hear those words spoken again; so instead hear these, “rinse and repeat”. Keep doing the above tips for some time; don’t really give yourself a timeline, just do the things and see what happens. Do not pressure yourself, just let time flow.
Tip 9: Everything is going to be okay and accept yourself and the situation.
Everything is going to be okay. Right now it is very likely you are panicking, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated that you are in this situation, but just know that this will pass. It sucks and breakups are never fun, they are messy, ugly and hardly ever end on ‘good terms’. However time will pass and you will look back at yourself and say,”well that sucked, glad it’s over.”
Tip 10: Get out there and start dating when you feel you are ready.
When you feel that you are ready. There is no pressure to date, and anyone that says so otherwise, well just ignore them. When you are ready and you have had enough rinse and repeat, you can start by many different routes; you can go out with friends and meet their friends and start chatting, house parties are always the best way to meet anyone truly, bars and clubs are overrated, it’s all about house parties. And if you want other options that involve less weekend nights out, you can try dating apps. One that we would highly recommend would be CLiKD. It’s an app where you can find people that share your own passions. It’s free and very fun.
Getting over a breakup is hard and it takes so much time. There is no formula of how many months/years or how many activities you have to do in order to heal. There is only really you and you know best on how to go about your life. Try, experiment, and enjoy life, you have only one life here, live it the best you can, and be happy!