Breakups suck. When you’re heartbroken, you experience pain, emotional and sometimes physical pain. You’ve lost something or someone, or some people that you used to love. It’s grief. You’ve gone from being with others to feeling alone. It’s not a nice feeling, and we all go through it at some point in our lives. You can go to your friends and family for support, but breakups are so personal, it’s often impossible to listen to others advice. And while your friends and family may have your best interests at heart, their advice isn’t always the best. We sat down with a relationship expert to share their wisdom on how to deal with a throuple breakup, so strap yourself in –
It’s okay to be hurting
Even though a throuple breakup doesn’t necessarily mean losing the hope of traditional monogamous relationships markers (marriage and/or kids etc.), it still hurts to see your future plans disappear. No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, grieving these loses is OK. Hurting is fine, and you shouldn’t be afraid of it. In a way, it proves the relationship wasn’t a waste of time; there were real feelings there and you’re trying to get over those feelings now.
Crying is a way to get rid of feelings of grief, sadness and other painful emotions. People usually feel better after crying for a while. Repressing emotions will make you cranky, more quickly annoyed and will make you experience more negative emotions throughout the day. If you repress your feelings too much, you will have an emotional break down at times and place inappropriate.
Take some time away from social media – especially your ex’s page!
There’s no better time for a social media detox than after a relationship has ended. Avoid contact with them is essential. By keeping in touch with your ex, I can guarantee that getting over a break up will be extremely difficult, if not impossible. It’s common to continue keep on sleeping with your ex once in a while, or to talk about nice memories. And perhaps you and your ex stay in touch simply because saying goodbye is too painful or because being alone is too difficult. But staying in touch is the easy way out and has nothing to do with getting over a break up. The most effective way to move on is simply by terminating all contact,
It’s okay to miss them
In most cases when you split with people, you will miss them. Whether you’re monogamous non-monogamous, it is okay to miss someone, and even still love them after you break up, especially when no one did anything wrong. If you’re missing someone try to do things that make you feel better, treat yourself like you’re your own best friend. Take yourself out for a walk, to a restaurant. Write your feelings down, speak to people and don’t go through it alone. You have a great support network of friends and family around you – utilise them!
Time heals everything
Time is the best medicine in any breakup, especially a throuple breakup. A pole by Healthline estimated it takes on average 3.5 months to get over others. Not that long in the grand scheme of things – I believe in you! The truth is, breakup recovery varies so widely because so many different factors can affect the process. Your own experiences might even emphasize this. If you’ve gone through a few breakups, take a moment to look back on how your recovery from each played out. You probably didn’t heal at exactly the same pace each time.
So hopefully this advice can help you get over a throuple breakup. There’s plenty more fish in the sea, and you’re a catch so stay strong, be positive and don’t forget to love yourself like you love the closest people in your life.