Fast-forwarding dating is one of the key dating trends 2022. The term has been thrown around a lot, but most don’t understand what it truly means (if you don’t know what it means either, read this). The truth is that if you choose to partake in this trend, then you could end up with something spectacular—whether it’s spectacular failure or spectacular success is the question.
You’ve been around the block
Dating is nothing new for you. You aren’t in your late teens or early 20s, and you’ve kissed your fair share of bad frogs pretending to be possible princes or princesses. With each relationship that goes sideways, we all accumulate a list of things we never want to do again. The next time we jump into the dating pool, we will objectively look out for these red flags and avoid them.
If this sounds like you, then definitely fast-forwarding dating is a trend you can hop on. Simply because you already know what you want out of a relationship.
Here’s how it can go wrong: people who are generally bad at reading people won’t be able to sort through fast-forwarding dating no matter how much experience they have. The same can be said for the other side of the coin, i.e., if you’re dating someone who takes longer to open up, you may end up losing out on a meaningful connection because you’re in a hurry.
Always remember, just because you are in a hurry doesn’t mean your partner is too. While they may be open to answering all your questions, they may not be open to declaring they’re all-in at the same pace.
You know how to communicate
You know all the stuff you need out of a relationship. You know how to tell your potential partner what all of that stuff sounds like. That’s one of the most important elements of fast-forwarding dating, because it’s not just about finding someone who wants to spend a whole week hanging out and interacting with you; it’s about genuinely having an honest, open conversation about what you want and what they want, and then seeing whether things can work out.
Some people mess this up though: they can be great at communicating their own needs and wants, but aren’t receptive to what the other person is telling them. For example, you show up with a list that says you want to travel, you’re child free, and you’re super ambitious. The person you’re considering for a relationship is excited because they agree with all three. Then they tell you they like the idea of having six cats in the house, and you think to yourself, “I can talk them out of it, who has six cats?” It’s easy to go down that route when every single other value seems to be aligning, right? The problem is, when a relationship is moving along like a bullet train, you lose any margin for adjustments and compromises.
You’re not into mind games or pretenses
Fast-forwarding dating can only really work for people who take a no-nonsense approach to dating. If you find someone who wants you to guess how they feel or conjure up their likes or dislikes, then this is doomed to fail from the beginning. Ironically, fast-forwarding romances only work for people who are not looking for that whirlwind feeling and are instead focused on the practicalities of their connection with someone.
People forget that relationships come with timelines and milestones: if you think you can just skip right over them you are definitely in for a rude awakening. The only way for this to work is if you sit down and align your core values and that’s it. The rest of the relationship will have to run its course. The one and only caveat of fast-forwarding dating is that people think they can just zoom their way into someone’s heart – which never ends in any way other than disaster (at least for most people).
If you do it right, your fast forwarding romance doesn’t have to fast forward into a breakup. The key is to stay grounded in reality, and focus more on finding the right values that can be matched rather than trying to skip milestones that make a relationship what it is.